Let’s start this out the right way:

First of all… The Rules are meant to be broken!
There are No Rules, so just make up anything that Best serves your immediate needs.
The Rules are specific to others and not to you, so there’s No-Need to set good examples.
Use the Rules whenever you want, because they only apply when it’s convenient to you.
The Rules are only for Dudes to read, so if Chicks read them, then good! Let them suffer!
Who cares if Your-Chick reads the Rules? Anyway, they’re too confusing for her to understand.
If Your-Chick reads these Rules, She’ll be Gone-Today, so plan on getting a New-One-Tonight!

Here are the First Seven Rules:

1. Hit it, and Quit it.
2. Always go out with Sluts.
3. If you can, always go out with Strippers, because they always invite their girlfriends to come along.
4. Avoid Virgins, because then you own the responsibility.
5. Don’t drink, Don’t do drugs, and Don’t dance, you only go out to Clubs to pick up Chicks.
6. Spend any money you have on Chicks, because then they owe you.
7. Always sleep with your girlfriend’s friends and relatives, because it builds character strengthening.

There's much more:

39. No-News is Good-News! “Kiss-Me? What-For? We did that when we First-Met!”
211. It’s Not-Cheating if She never knows! Avoid-Cheating! Learn to keep a Secret.
237. When it comes down to it, you don’t have any Other-Choice than to be with an Extra, because in Every-Couple, One-of-You is a Cheater, so if you don’t have an Extra-Now, you had better get one, to keep Your-Wife from Cheating on you First!
412. Avoid-Luggage! No Chicks with Kids! Be Wary of Chicks with Kids, because if Her-Ex can’t Stand-Them, then Why-Should-You? Even worse, if She can’t support-them, why should you?
481. And, who would think? Your Parents Really liked her! She Fooled Them Too!!!
550. She’s called you “Bastard” so many times, that now you’ve started Doubting-Yourself. Maybe it’s True? Go ask Your-Parents!
601. Gays Kill-the-Competition! “I wish all Guys were Gay, so that All-Women would belong to Me!”
642. When you meet a Woman who is Beautiful and Intelligent, just be Forgiving. Remain-Optimistic, and Especially-Patient! Keep in mind that Things will eventually go As-Planned! Love-Cures-All, and once She Falls-in-Love-with-You, She’ll be Dumb, Just how you Like-It.
716. She’s right! “You’re a Loser and you’ll Never-Amount to Anything!” Obviously, you’re with Her!
907. Always keep a camera handy! It’s the only way your Buddies will believe your Lies.
930. Don’t be a Sissy and go out and buy an Automatic-Corvette. Buy a Stick, so She can’t drive it!
938. Never cry in front of a Chick, unless She’s a cop, and it saves you from a $200 speeding-ticket.
999. When you need to see them all, just Push the CLICK HERE!